According to dictionary.com, the definition of a silver lining is this: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/silver-lining# noun – a sign of hope in an unfortunate or gloomy situation; a bright prospect:
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Not a new concept for any of us I am sure, but one that is worth revisiting. I have been finding the silver linings in my summer challenges. Interestingly, when situations are seen as “neutral” instead of good or bad, there is an emergence of unexpected gifts. Perhaps all clouds have these shiny signs of hope.
The first example of the silver linings I experienced this summer pertains to my family. Yes, there were challenging moments in dropping everything to attend to my ailing father. We had some unfinished business; he had some unfinished business. He didn’t have his affairs in order. He was in dire straits and needed immediate help beyond what we had planned. Everything became urgent quite suddenly. It was overwhelming and expensive and beyond what I felt ready to do. Really Dad?
And yet, I was ready. I knew what needed to be done (at least in the short term). I had very clear guidance on what the priorities were; next steps came easily. Things had a way of sorting themselves without the enormous effort I expected or tried to create. The complete chaos of a crisis situation settled. He was comfortable. He was at peace and without pain. Would we call this good? Either way, this was the first silver lining.
This family crisis brought me home. Home to my place of birth. Home to myself, home to my family, home to the strengths I had forgotten I embodied. While Florida is no longer my home, there was something truly special about being there at this unplanned time. Was this good or was this bad? I spent more time with my siblings than I had since childhood. A total silver lining! I love these humans who share my DNA. How did so many months and years slip by without the time to simply sit together for hours and days on end? We shared stories, meals, wine, recipes, celebrations, heart aches and deep secrets. We found peace in being together without saying anything.
“Let there be an opening into the quiet that lies beneath the chaos, where you find the peace you did not think possible and see what shimmers within the storm.” – John O’ Donohue
I have two nieces at the precipice of their own life shifts. An 18-year-old who will be heading to Chicago for college and a 15-year-old who has her first boyfriend. I had time with them at this amazing juncture in their lives. They confided in me and shared the intimate details of their regular days. It was such an honor to hear it all; to be a part of their lives for this brief moment. I also have a 13-year-old nephew who has probably grown six inches since I saw him at Christmas (or close to that much). I had time to be with him and his prankster antics and to admire his young brilliance. This was “good” and another silver lining. Thanks Dad.
When I see and hear what is shimmering within the storm, I hear my guides whisper, “It isn’t good or bad. It is simply life unfolding”.
Fast forward a few weeks. One of my favorite parts of summer here in New Hampshire is BEACH YOGA. This year, it was thwarted. Three weeks into… the hottest, most perfect summer to have yoga on the beach and it ended. This definitely felt “bad”. I was reprimanded by a young police officer (in the middle of class) for not having the proper permit. The storm clouds were brewing for sure. There was a whirlwind of emotions that followed; primarily shame and embarrassment for allowing this to happen.
Surprise! This same young police officer connected me with someone who would advocate for my mission to offer classes in a public space. I now have the correct permit for the remainder of the season and know how to proceed in the future. Okay… so maybe this is “good”? Another silver lining!
“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.”— Rabbi Shemuel ben Nachmani, as quoted in the Talmudic tractate Berakhot (55b.)
I suppose the ultimate silver lining is truly accepting life as it unfolds. Is it good? Is it bad? Perhaps if we wait and watch, we will see that it is all “neutral”; it is neither, it is both. It is life unfolding. The silver linings are there too, if we take a moment to notice.